How To Increase Resiliency and Build GRIT in Your Family

Parenting is tough. Believe me, I’m in the trenches with you. Like many parents, there are days I wonder how we will all make it through high school emotionally and physically intact.

As anxiety and depression rates continue to rise among today’s youth, I am increasingly aware of the need for preventive education and resources for parents. I am passionate about helping families build resilience and overcome adversity. One of the most valuable things we can do is help our kids strengthen their sense of self and develop grit.

Psychologist Angela Duckworth and her colleagues have extensively studied grit as a personality trait. Grit is defined as “perseverance and passion for long-term goals.” Like resilience, grit reflects strong character, determination, and a solid sense of self—qualities we all strive for and that benefit us not only as parents but also in our work and everyday lives.

Below are a few ways you can help build a resilient foundation in your family:

• Model resilience in your actions and communication. Help your child understand that adversity is a normal and healthy part of life. Sports can be a great example. If your child has a favorite athlete, they may already know parts of that person’s story that include setbacks and disappointments. Talk about how that athlete used adversity to grow and improve. Point out examples of times your child has done the same. Remind them that it’s okay to feel upset in the moment and that those feelings will usually fade with time. It can also be helpful to develop a plan with your child for how they would like to be supported after a disappointment—whether it’s losing a game, receiving a poor grade, or having a conflict with a friend.

• Resist the urge to fix everything for your child. Jumping into problem-solving mode too quickly may unintentionally send the message that something has gone terribly wrong and needs immediate fixing. It can also reinforce the belief that difficult emotions should be avoided or “fixed.” Instead, reassure your child that they are loved and supported no matter what, and that it’s okay not to feel great all the time. If needed, you can work through solutions later—together and with your child’s input. Remember, no child is perfect. Mistakes are part of learning and growing.

• Help your child separate feelings from actions. Remind your child that while their feelings are valid, those feelings do not dictate their choices. Acting out, talking back, or lashing out is not acceptable—even when they are upset. Talk with them about healthy ways to manage and soothe difficult emotions if this has been a challenge.

• Keep communicating. Open communication is essential. When children know they can talk with you about their feelings, they are more likely to develop the confidence and resilience needed to navigate life’s challenges. Prevention and early support are key.

The Gals Institute team and Thrive Together are always here to help families stay healthy and happy. These are just a few ideas to help get started!